ahh, school, ahh

So far, I like my classes! Granted, I have only had half of them. The only downside is that my classes have been super super full, which means that I have had to sit on the floor, which means that along with getting my learning on, I had a pretty numb butt for part of last week. Fun.

This upcoming week is going to be scary. 7 classes + one part-time job + teacher training for the other part-time job (Maybe? I have yet to hear anything about this...) + wind ensemble + marching band + homework + trying to be sane. JKRowling! If I was a sane and emotionally balanced person, then 1) I would not be me and 2) I would probably be less interesting. You know it's true.

And then there's the whole grad school exams thing. I know that I should take the GMAT, but I really really really do not want to. Not for a legitimate reason, either. My dad is all, "Why are you afraid of a test? That is stupid! You know math and will do just fine!" This is all true. Except for the knowing math part. When I was doing my econ homework (at 1:30am, despite the fact that it wasn't due for several days), I had to look up how to calculate the slope of a line. Woot, rise/run! It's more the whole practicing for an additional exam and paying the $250 to take it. This does not interest me! The jury is out on whether or not it is going to happen...though I do need to get my act together re: the GRE, because that isn't going to study for/take itself, either. Boo.

This leaves me here, at 7:10pm on Sunday evening, procrastinating from doing my stats and econ reading. I am a bit afraid of these classes, even though I know I shouldn't be. What if the information just doesn't make any sense? It would be really awesome if I made the Dean's List again, just saying...so I can't suck in these classes. Last night, I had a dream that it was already finals. It was a relief, like, "Wow, look how the time has flown!" Of course, in real life, that would be horrifying, because I need to get my act together and start working on grad school applications!

And now I'm going to start my reading.

progress in life

I am in the process of finalizing my class schedule. It is not fun. The one economics section that worked for my class schedule is full. I am going to petition to get in, but on the off-chance that this fails, I had to sign up for a different class. This isn't so much the issue--the fact that I needed to find two different JTS classes is.

Like I said, not fun.

I am also trying to peg down jobs/internships for the semester. So far I have a fantastic freelance position worked out. Hopefully everything else will fall into place soon.

As far as grad schools go, I feel like my dad is trying to trick me. He's been all, "Why don't you try applying to Columbia's Journalism School?" "Are you sure you don't want to go to grad school for anthropology?" While he has always been relatively supportive of the whole j-school thing, he has not shared this enthusiasm with my interest in anthropology. This is all part of his, "I am confused/worried that you aren't actually passionate about arts administration when it's really just something I'm not 100% supportive of" campaign. While all of my friends would probably agree that I emote A LOT, the things I emote about aren't always at the forefront of my mind. For me, expressing intense emotion (exuberance, annoyance, etc.) is an easy way of relieving stress and anxiety, because I am a highly anxious person. The time I spent in Israel last summer? I wasn't super psyched about it beforehand. I'm not entirely sure how I can express to my dad that arts administration is something that I am very interested in. I mean, I've already devoted an ungodly amount of time to the Columbia Festival of Winds--shouldn't that be enough?! I have a hard time expressing interest/being involved in things that do not interest me, and I'm certainly not involved in CFW for the benefit of my sanity, so at this point, I'm not sure what I can do. (In contrast, my mom is extremely supportive of my academic pursuits for grad school. Woo!)

So yeah.

Ahhh, I'm planning my future!

I bought the Princeton Review's GRE prep book and am building a list of schools. I'm also preparing a list of "gap year" programs. However, I am definitely going to take the GRE, because I am almost definitely going to be enrolling in grad school in the next 5 years, which is how long the scores are good for. I am also in the process of finalizing work/internship opportunities. Maybe.

Woo, senior year!

Right now, I want to apply to grad school for arts administration. Here is a list of the schools that I am considering:

1. NYU

2. Columbia (TC, to be exact)

3. Indiana University

4. Ohio State University

5. University of Oregon

6. Claremont Graduate University

7. School at the Art Institute of Chicago (SAIC)

8. Columbia College

NYU, TC, and IU (that's how us Midwest folks abbreviate Indiana University...University of Illinois is U of I, Indiana University is IU, and Iowa is...Iowa) are my top choices and the programs that I am definitely applying to. OSU, University of Oregon, and Claremont Graduate University made the list because they look interesting. There is actually a list of schools that have arts administration grad programs (http://www.artsadministration.org/grad), which made my search a lot easier. As tempting as it would be to apply to a program in London or Australia (I mean, c'mon, how cool would that be?!), I doubt it's going to happen because I want to visit all of the schools that I am considering applying to. This is another reason why NYU, TC, and IU are at the top of my list...they're the easiest schools for me to visit. In fact, thanks to CUMB and Columbia Summer Winds, I have already spent a decent amount of time in TC. I have limited experience in the actual NYU buildings (except for the Hillel, woot woot!), but The Village really grew on me this past summer. IU is less accessible, but I could drive out there sometime when I am at home. OSU is also under consideration. I have a friend studying there, so visiting isn't infeasible. University of Oregon and Claremont Graduate University definitely aren't infeasible, it'll just be a lot more expensive to visit them.

This means that if I do not stay in NYC, I will most likely be returning to the Midwest for grad school...the Big Ten could have me yet! Granted, neither school is super super close to home, though IU is only a few hour's drive away. I'm not going to lie, part of me is a bit unhappy that there are no arts administration programs in Illinois/Chicago that I wanted to apply to. The School at the Art Institute of Chicago (SAIC) and Columbia College both have programs, but I haven't decided yet if I want to apply to those programs, which is why they are toward the bottom of the list. If I decide to apply to either of these programs, they would be immediately moved up on the list, priority-wise.

"Gap Year" Programs:

1. Joint Distribution Committee: Jewish Service Corps

This would involve being placed in an organization within a Jewish community in a foreign country for a year. My first choice would be Israel, but I would be open to pretty much any opportunity.

2. American Jewish World Service: World Partners Fellowship

I would be placed in an (non-Jewish) organization in India for a year. Seeing a trend here?

3. AVODAH: The Jewish Service Corps

I would be placed in an organization in either NYC, Chicago, Washington, DC, or New Orleans for a year.

The applications for the gap year programs have not yet been released, so I have been focusing my attention on the grad school applications (and *sigh* studying for the GRE) right now.

Fun!

Let me tell you about my family!

Disclaimer: This is not my real family. My real family is socially adept, they just hate people. Which is fine, because sometimes I do, too. In fact, I have had to train myself over the years to willingly hang out with people. This wasn't too hard, because hanging out with people is fun. But I digress.

I will now present you with a hypothetical situation.

Hypothetically, I'm dealing with a lot of stress right now. Hypothetically, I like distracting myself by organizing bitchin' hangouts and playing weird games. Hypothetically, I have friends who not only humor me in these endeavors, but have come to enjoy themselves. (If they don't enjoy themselves, then they are good actors!)

There was the street fair extravaganza, the karaoke madness, and this weekend, there will be fun at the beach. There are also the summer winds hangouts. (Taking 7 classes + a job + work study during the school year makes it difficult for me to be social. Boo.)

But now, on to the games!

1. Guess His Name and Scream It

The thing I like about this game is that the name says it all. I'm sort of afraid to actually play this game.

2. Cuter Than Dillon? (No.)

Toni's adorable little brother Dillon is 1) cute and 2) Asian. I spend my time trying to find Asian children, and when I do, I text Toni with descriptions and whether or not the kid is cuter than her brother. So far, the only contender is a little boy who was running naked through the women's locker room, screaming, "I am a muffin!"

3. Pick Your Grandpa

There are a number of awesome elderly gentlemen in summer winds. Like, no joke, they all rock. They rock so hardcore that I spent time wondering, "If I could pick one of these dudes to be my grandpa, who would it be?" I eventually made my decision, but realized that this game doesn't need to be limited to grandpas! So far, I have: BadassGrandpa, CoolUncle, CreepyUncle, GayUncle#3 (Because you can never have too many!), and CRAZYAUNT. Seriously, CrazyAunt is super cray cray. She was the first "addition" to my family, because I decided that she was legitimately crazy enough to be part of my real family. Now I just think it's fun to call her my aunt and confuse people who do not know the backstory. Which is almost everybody. Oops.

so.freaking.busy

This past week was spent hanging out with friends and learning the ropes of my internship. Highlights have included checking out the awesome restaurants near my internship (still to come: Gray's Papaya and Shake Shack) and not organizing my room. Summer Winds has started (I'm playing the horn solo in Shostakovitch's "Festive Overture", which I'm insanely excited about!), and I am attempting to plan various social events for myself so that I am not cooped up in my apartment all the time.

One of the benefits of my internship is that I get access to the gym in the building. Both times I went last week it was relatively empty and I didn't have to wait to use any of the equipment. I could get used to this! It's better than running outdoors in the gross weather or paying the summer fee to use Dodge.

On Wednesday evening my friend Mara from camp stayed with me! I hadn't seen her since September 2007, when I went to the airport to see her off before she left for Israel. And now...she is moving to Israel in August! I am super excited for her and hope that the transition is smooth.

Yesterday was Columbia/Barnard alumni weekend. CUMB met up with some alumni, played songs, and did our usual shenanigans. We might have posed on the Barnard Greek Games statue, and I might have gotten to 2nd base with the statue. This is debatable. What isn't debatable is that the chair of our alumni fund has a super adorable baby boy! That is all.

After we were done playing, the alumni went to other activities while we took advantage of the lunch, which included things I would not want to keep outdoors in the heat...like clams. Oh well, it was all delicious! We then put our instruments away and shared stories...a bottle of Nikolai might have disappeared in the process.

We then went to Lerner where there was a "meet and greet" with the alums. We heard the most incredible stories! It was thrilling to hear about all the awesome things they did, and the alums were proud that we are continuing their glorious tradition of G(tb)^2. 'Nuff said. We then continued the hanging out...I think I was with bandies for around 13 hours on Saturday, which is fine by me!

Today was also very fun. A group of CUMB and Wind Ensemblers decided to take advantage of all of the street fairs going on today. After buying metrocards (I got my first Monthly Unlimited pass, which I DEFINITELY took advantage of today), we went to 12 Eldridge St for the Egg Rolls and Egg Creams street fair. The subway was a bit weird, but we made good time. I ate a pickle, drank an egg cream, and got to hear authentic Chinese instruments.

We also went into the synagogue (it was built in the 19th century and is now in the heart of Chinatown) for a Chinese tea ceremony. The man leading (the tea artist) talked about the teas. I learned that there are green teas, red teas, and black teas. The color refers to the amount of oxidation the leaves have undergone. Green is the least oxidized, black is the most.

The tea leaves were in a little pot. The tea artist passed the pot around, instructing us to first smell the leaves in the pot, then the tea lid...and to only breathe in, not to exhale back into either. He then poured hot water into the pot. "You cannot time the steeping, you must feel it," he said. (However, the leaves cannot be steeped for longer than 2 minutes...just the loose leaves, not the bagged kind I buy in the store.) Each person had a small cylindrical glass and a larger handle-less teacup. He poured the tea into the cylindrical class. We then poured the tea into the cup and then smelled the cylindrical glass. He always asked us what it smelled like. I could never exactly say. It smelled good, herbally, but I couldn't pinpoint the smell.

When we drank, he instructed us to slurp the tea, so we would take air into our mouths as well. We then moved our tongues up and down and inhaled, and then swallowed and opened and closed our mouths, so we could smell the "tea mist". It was a very cool process. The tea artist only bought expensive teas. "The least expensive tea I will buy is $600/lb," he said. He accidentally brought out his most expensive tea, the $40,000/lb variety (or so he told us). It had a rich taste, very aged. This makes sense, as he said that the tea was aged for 40 years.

Throughout this, there was a demonstration in the lower level of the sanctuary, where the cantor was singing various hymns. I would explain and translate them throughout the tea ceremony.

Downstairs, we made challah! Or rather, we braided the challah and then took the unbaked loaves with us, to cook later.

We then got lunch in a Chinese restaurant nearby. My criterion was that the menu needed to be in English. This was satisfied, and the food did not make me sick! Win.

We then went to the World Science Festival street fair, but didn't do much there...except take pictures with a child in a T-Rex costume!

Throughout this, the challah was rising...because it was full of yeast. I had crunched my and Tim's challah tins, and they spilled over their tins and were conjoined twins. This didn't happen to anybody else's challah.

The weather was looking pretty iffy, so we went to Camille's parents' apartment to bake the challah and play President. All of the challah were delicious (ultimately, they all looked exactly the same when cooked), and the hanging out/card game was fun. The sky was very dark (there was actually a tornado warning), and it rained while we were inside. The weather cleared up pretty quickly, and we eventually returned to campus. The rain had taken the humidity out of the air, and the weather was gorgeous!

It was the perfect end to an incredible weekend. :)

this bed freaks me out a little

I've been meaning to write a legitimate post for awhile. Then, Hannah discovered my blog, and I felt the need to both uphold my reputation and write something that wasn't emo.

Last Tuesday, I moved into my apartment. I still haven't unpacked. The room is small. I have a full size lofted bed, and all of my stuff is under it. There is a piano in the room, but I'm not particularly motivated to play it. The guy I'm subletting from left stuff in the closet, books on the shelves, and...unused condoms and hair ties tucked between the mattress and the bedframe. Also, there was a piece of gum on one of the headboards.

In conclusion: Boys are super icky and gross.

The bed is also kind of wobbly. He might have put it together himself? One of the end boards is unevenly nailed in.

In conclusion: I could have made this bed much better. Also, despite various efforts, the bed hasn't yet broken. Though the condoms assuaged some of my fears, since it meant that the primary renter clearly has had sex in this bed and not died.

There are three other guys who live here. One is in California. They are pretty cool.

I haven't told my parents exactly where I live (not that they would know the names of the streets) because it's flirting with Harlem, and my parents have more important shit to worry about than the fact that I get off at the 125th subway stop.

On Wednesday and Thursday I had orientation for the leadership training component of my internship. I'm not going to go into detail about my internship so far. I started on Tuesday and things have been going well. The only annoying thing is that the last intern made a really confusing spreadsheet that I spent all day trying to fix. Now I need to add in all of the missing information. Fun.

On Friday I slept in and in the late afternoon I took the NJ Transit to see Toni! I learned that "Delayed Green" is a traffic sign, not a street name, and that Elizabeth drives a car with lots of silly bumper stickers on it. She had an extended weekend and obviously wanted to spend it with me and Toni. We might have drank a bottle of Bartenura and Facebook stalked/texted people. We probably Facebook stalked you. Just saying. We spent the night at Toni's house and in the morning met her SUPER ADORABLE BABY BROTHER DILLON. He is super cute. I also met Toni's mom, who is also super cute. But back to Dillon. He has inspired me to create the best game, ever. Everytime I see a passably cute Asian child, I text Toni and tell her about how much cuter Dillon is. Examples:
1. Small Asian child wearing a Harvard t-shirt. Dillon would never be so pretentious. He would go on, driving his little bike around, too busy being adorable. Besides, MIT geeks have more fun...
2. Small Asian child with pseudo rat tail. It's obvious why Dillon is cuter.
3. Small Asian child in the women's locker room at the JCC with his mom, yelling "I am a muffin!" while running around butt-naked. This was almost as adorable as Dillon.

We then embarked on a holy mission: Snuggie shopping! You see, this weekend was to be dedicated to our new favorite show, Cougar Town. In Cougar Town, they all buy blumfies ("Half blanket, all comfy!"), so we needed to imitate this. We went to several stores and sacrificed what was left of our dignity by approaching salespeople and asking if the store carried snuggies. An angry salesgirl at Walmart said that they were "Up front, near the cigarettes and shit." In fact, they were in the "As Seen on TV!" section. We could have bought a pink or blue snuggie for $14.88, but since they had no leopard print snuggies, we decided it was not worth it. However, Elizabeth did capture an awesome picture of me disposing of the Bartenura bottle in a garbage can in the Walmart parking lot. Super classy.

We then completed the next part of our mission: buying cheap wine! You see, in Cougar Town, they are ALWAYS DRINKING WINE. This is another reason why we love the show so much. We went to Trader Joe's, picked up four bottles of 2 Buck Chuck (now $3 a bottle, sadly), and made Elizabeth wait outside while I paid. It turned out not to matter, the saleswoman didn't card me. Toni and I then packed the wine into our backpacks and we drove the car back to Toni's house, said goodbye to Dillon and Toni's mom, and walked to the train station.

We had a Cougar Town marathon and drank some wine, then went to Sam's apartment to watch the first game of the Stanley Cup. Long story short, the Blackhawks won, Elizabeth drank a lot of Blueberry Stoli, and MANY interesting things were texted to Paul. We then went back to my apartment and continued the Cougar Town/wine marathon.

I learned something about Elizabeth. She is a serial spooner. Seriously. My bed was able to fit the three of us, but Elizabeth insisted on being in the middle and spooned Toni the entire night. This is after she licked Toni, me, and herself. The next day, she did not remember doing this.

The next day (Sunday) was more of the same, though Elizabeth went to hang out with Bryan for a bit and I made the bad decision to embark on a walk with Toni in the middle of the day. I still have the sunburn. We then watched crappy movies on Hulu until Elizabeth returned. We then watched MORE Cougar Town and then went to Pisticci's for dinner, which is right by my apartment. The significance of the location is that they have outdoor seating. While seated outdoors, I spotted a cute guy. Toni said I should shout his name. Obviously, I do not know his name. This created the game titled "Shout a Name and See if He Turns Around". If the guy turns around, the game's participants get to lady chest bump. BING! We then continued the marathon (we got through 19 of the 24 episodes!) until Toni and Elizabeth had to leave.

I'm exhausted and need to sleep, so I'll recount the ridiculousness of this past week tomorrow. Later, player.

stuff that's on my mind

The title is pretty self-explanatory:

1. I need to take the GRE. I should also probably study for it.
2. I should stop doing things solely for the sake of entertaining people, because I am officially a caricature of myself.
3. Running! I should do it.
4. I should unpack, or come up with an organizational system for keeping my clothes in my suitcases. This is more likely, as there are not enough places in my room in which to store my clothes.
5. It is really hard to un/lock my apartment door with my keys because I am a moron.
6. I cannot be antisocial this summer! So far, I have succeeded in this. But I haven't even been back in NYC for a week yet.
7. I hope I do well in my internship!
8. I can relate most things in life to Cougar Town, but I will be judged for this.
9. "Confident in My Sexuality" is the best song, ever.
10. I wish I was in Israel. Like, a lot. Even though I was an antisocial freak last summer. I miss the weather (shocker!), the scenery, reading Hebrew all over the place, navigating the bus system, and learning Hebrew words by watching American TV shows with Hebrew subtitles.
11. The thing that sucks about sucking it up and moving farish from home is that I sometimes feel like I am abandoning my family. Because my parents know that I want to stay in NYC. They are totally okay with this, as far as I can tell, but I still feel bad sometimes. And yet, right now I do not think that Chicago is the right place for me to be, unless I'm going to work at the Jewish Federation, or something like that.
12. Sometimes I am worried that I've stopped caring what is socially acceptable for me to say/do in public.
13. Sometimes I have a moment of clarity and get over myself and realize that I am formulating my social identity, just like everyone else, and that I am a completely normal person having completely normal life experiences.
14. I wish I had a dog.
15. I wish I had two dogs.
16. I really like making lists. I always have.
17. I have always been very neurotic and anal, even as a small child. I used to cry if the spout on my sippy cup was pointing in the wrong direction.
18. I am somewhat frustrated with school because I am not sure if any of the classes I am taking will ever directly relate to a career. The joys of a liberal arts education.
19. Sometimes I am afraid that my fancy degree will be useless in the real world.
20. Sometimes I am afraid that my other degree will also be useless.
21. I feel bad that I am now completely secular, but at the same time I am afraid that people think that I am really religious and feel alienated. I am not really sure where I stand re: Judaism, but I still feel completely at home with my religion. It's a weird feeling of unease.
22. I feel like if I eventually do meet/date/fall in love with a nice Jewish boy, that I will become more religiously involved with Judaism, and I resent the fact that it might take a romantic partner to bring this out in me. I want to love my religion for my own sake, not for someone else's.
23. I am not-so-secretly procrastinating from the fact that I am bored but do not yet feel like falling asleep.
24. I like cuddling/spooning, yet even though I sometimes lament being alone, I actually do love sleeping by myself. I have trouble sleeping when I share a bed with someone. This has always been the case.
25. I still wish that I could fly, be invisible, and walk through walls/things. I will never choose between these three super powers.
26. Even though I stand by every single major life decision I have ever made and know that I sincerely believed in them at the time, I have regretted almost all of them after the fact. Still, I think that regret is a useless emotion, because you cannot turn back time. You can only apologize for being an asshat. Therefore, I am loathe to admit which choices I now regret.
27. This list is only really for me, and that is all that matters.
28. I talk about how I want to be in a relationship, but I'm not sure that's actually true. This doesn't mean I am indecisive, it means that in a moment of indecisiveness, I will say no. I firmly believe that if I actually want something, I will not be wishy washy about it. I don't have time for that kind of shit.

moving right along

Today (Tuesday) is going to be insanely hectic. I have 2 back-to-back finals, as well as a paper to hand in. I have finished studying for one of the finals, and just need to write up my index card. But I'll do that after I do the insane amount of studying that awaits.

To be fair, it's just an insane amount of studying because I'm actually blessed with a pretty good memory for facts and usually just need to brush up. Alas, I lost my JTS notebook 4-6 weeks ago. Even after I cleaned my room/packed most of my things into storage, I never found it. As of right now, I find myself pouring over photocopies of Talmud (Jewish law) pages, marking the sections and highlighting technical terms, writing in notes here and there. The little notes help jog my memory about the content. Hopefully this will help. Then, it is off to writing my Hebrew lit paper! I have 4 pages so far.

THIS WEEK:
Tuesday, 5/11: Hebrew lit paper, Talmud final, Bible final
Wednesday, 5/12: MusicHum final, last day of work, going to the opera!!
Thursday, 5/13: Bible extra credit paper, Columbia Talmud take-home final

Other than that, I just need to pack up what is left of my things (mostly just clothes), throw away the garbage, donate the unwanted clothes (mostly jeans/sweats), and wash all of my clothes and bedding. Then comes the process where I pack a suitcase with clothes and an Ikea bag with dishes and bedding and put this in storage, only to remove it in two week's time, when I return to NYC for my internship.

The end of the semester always feels rushed and abrupt. This time feels much better, since I'm not really leaving. Also, the pleasantly large number of friends remaining in the city for the summer is reassuring. This is already looking to be the most social summer I have ever had...not that this is saying much...

And now, back to my Talmud!

...wow

I have just completed what is quite possibly both the dumbest yet most brilliant act of college buffoonery I have ever accomplished in my academic tenur. That is to say, I wrote a 19.5 page paper in a little over 18 hours. This is the longest paper I have ever written by...at least 5 pages. There was no changing the periods to size 14 font, or anything! In fact, the minimum length requirement for the paper was 15 pages. If the paper hadn't been due yesterday, I would have reread it after some sleep. However, I do think that my paper was relatively clear and made sense...and I also have had an extremely high success rate with the papers that I have completed in the wee hours of the morning this semester. That being said, I hope to never do this again.

I am taking a brief mental break before beginning my Bible term paper (which only needs to be 6 pages and is an extension of a 3-page essay that I wrote for my midterm). In this break, I will go into more detail about what has been going on in my life.

Wind Ensemble has been taking up a lot of my time, even though the Festival of Winds is over for the year...but I have enjoyed this diversion! Lots of fun social events, hanging out...the Fiddler on the Roof pit orchestra is included in this, since most of them are also in wind ensemble...Fun!

Also, I have once again changed my mind re: grad school plans. My current plan is to apply to NYU and Columbia's Teachers College for a masters in arts administration. For the NYU program I will need to take statistics and microeconomics next semester (AND get at least a B...), and for the Columbia program I will need to take the GRE. Since both programs look pretty great, I'm going to play it safe and do both of these things. I'll probably try and take the GRE over the summer, so that I do not have to worry about it during the school year.

And now, an update on my remaining workload:
Wednesday, 5/5: Bible term paper due
Tuesday, 5/11: Talmud final, Bible final, Classics of Modern Hebrew Lit paper due
Wednesday, 5/12: MusicHum final
Thursday, 5/13: Bible extra credit paper due, CU Talmud final

The finals will involve a significant amount of studying, but that is looking much less daunting after having spent 18 hours writing a term paper. Also, I'll have a decent amount of time to get teh studying done. My goal is to finish the Classics paper by Friday, so that I can spend the weekend studying for my finals and writing the Bible ec paper.

And now my break is over...on to my Bible term paper!

nearing the end

I officially have an internship placement! I will be interning for Ma'yan, a JCC Manhattan think tank that does programming for Jewish girls. I'll be researching and updating databases (something the anal retentive side of me takes great pleasure in doing), and generally having a ball. The women who work in the department really seem to enjoy working together and it seems like they have fun. This is good...a fun work environment is good!

Here is my finals schedule that you don't care about:

Monday, 5/3: musichum concert report due
Tuesday, 5/4: ethnographic china paper due
Wednesday, 5/5: bible paper due
Tuesday, 5/11: talmud final, bible final, classics of modern Hebrew lit paper due
Wednesday, 5/12: musichum final
Thursday, 5/13: Columbia talmud final, bible extra credit due

My flight home leaves on 5/16. This means that I will have a few days to get my things in order/pack without having to deal with finals.

I do plan on writing more interesting things here, such as details in my perusal of grad school programs, or funny stories about my life, or...things. But right now, I really need to work on these papers. Cheers!

scandalous!

I have a place to live for the summer! Sadly, my internship is not yet confirmed. I probably should have taken care of that first, but I wanted to make sure I had a place to live...my interview with my potential placement is on Sunday, so think happy thoughts for me!

I have been having thoughts about getting a masters in arts/fine arts/performing arts management. I have been doing my research. I texted my parents to share this news, and my mom responded with "I'm surprised you didn't think of this sooner", while my dad said, "YIKES!!!" But then, he wants me to be a lawyer, so nothing else is going to make him particularly happy.

I have exciting news! I won a King's Crown Leadership Award (the Silver Crown, to be specific) from Columbia for my work with Wind Ensemble and the Festival of Winds! I made sure to tell my parents, to strongly hint that my time with the Wind Ensemble has not been a waste. (My parents are always telling me to do more with JTS, even though they do not realize that JTS offers very limited extracurriculars. And none of them really involve music!)

thoughts

Hello, my lovelies! I have a bevy of things to share with you. The first is that I am listening to Ke$ha's Tik Tok on a continuous loop. So I'm probably not super sane. But this is okay!

I went rummaging through my closet today, looking for all of my Pokemon cards (I'm at home, fyi--and I found almost all of the Pokemon cards!) when I found a picture of my ex-boyfriend. (The one I was madly in love with and wanted to go to university in Toronto so that I could be closer to him. Yeah, I was one of those.) Now, even though that relationship has been over for almost 4 years, I had a pretty intensely negative, visceral reaction to that picture. It was from right before he and I started dating. This is way before he became more religious and decided that I basically wasn't religious enough for him. That's right, Orthodox Judaism stole my boyfriend. It's the reason that I am inclined to dislike Orthodox men.

In other news, I'm playing in the pit orchestra for the CMTS production of Fiddler on the Roof this weekend, which doesn't really help things...

Pesach is going well! The first night was just me, my parents, and my siblings. There was arguing, me and my brother tried to one-up each other (I go to JTS, so it's really no competition), my mom asked questions I knew the answer to but thought I didn't because they were obvious and I thought she was looking for some deeper answer.

My personal favorite was when she asked why we say shehechiyanu (a prayer for when something is done for the first time (that year)) at both seders and I said that it was because each time it is supposed to be as if we are being freed for the first time. This answer impressed my mom. I made it up on the spot. Afterwards, I was instructed to not use "[my] JTS bullshit" to answer any of her questions. Whatever.

The second night, the whole family was over...well, part of it, at least. It was fun! My dad's cousin told a story about how her family used to take old Pesach desserts to the zoo and throw them into the bear enclosure. That can't be legal. We then participated in a tongue twister competition with one of the songs. As usual, I won--I am the tongue twister queen.

Tomorrow, I am returning to NYC, where I will survive on matza pizza and salad for the rest of the holiday, because I cannot be bothered to cook real food. Yay!

It's Pesach!

Yay, Pesach! I am home in lovely Highland Park, IL for the seders. Being home is so relaxing. I am temporarily ignoring the fact that I will soon return to school...and have 6 more weeks of stress. But then the school year will be over and I will be off to...

JERUSALEM!

I honestly did not anticipate returning to Jerusalem. Of course, I am thrilled to be doing so. I am applying to take an ulpan (intensive Hebrew language class) at the Hebrew University in Jerusalem. I'm still working on the details (like the Hebrew placement exam), but things will fall into place.

Today I was informed by my dad that "If you can't get your graduate degree for free, that says something about the field you're working in." I'm pretty sure he meant fellowships/stipends, etc.

Of course, professional schools like law school do not apply to this rule.

To be honest, I really do not want to take out more student loans than I already have at this point in time. I am also not entirely sure what I would want to study.

Gah.

It's official!

I didn't get the China internship. I'm actually very okay with this because it means that I will be in Israel this summer!

no news is no news

The state of my internship status is still unknown. Therefore, I'm going through with the Hebrew U application. I don't appreciate the way the Center for Career Education has been treating me, but there's really nothing I can do about it.

This semester has been a sea of papers. And it will continue to be so. Allow me to show you...

Classics of Modern Hebrew Lit: 3 4pg papers, 1 15pg paper (which can be an elaboration on one of the shorter papers

(JTS) Talmud: 5 2pg papers, outlines of the readings

Bible: take-home midterm (mine was almost 11pgs long), 6-8 pg paper

Ethnographic China: 15pg paper

(CU) Talmud: 3 2pg papers There will likely be more.

MusicHum: 2 3-5pg concert reports

In total, this is 17+ papers (not including the anticipated CU Talmud papers) and 77+ pages of (unique) writing. To be fair, this is relatively decently-spaced. Though I know that I'll be writing the two 15 pg papers (and probably the 6pg one) at the same time. Ugh. This is definitely the most I have ever had to write in a given semester. Granted. I'm only going to have to take 4 actual finals...(and one won't even be in class...)

I guess this is what I get for taking 7 classes. (Another reason why I should do the Hebrew U internship...it would make my schedule so much lighter!)

Speaking of schedules...I have a tentative one set up for next semester. Again it's 7 classes, but 6 of them will only be held once a week! So we shall see what happens...

sneak peak

I sent an email to the marketing firm, asking if I am still under consideration for the internship. We shall see if I hear back. I have yet to submit my application for a Hebrew University (in Jerusalem) internship program because this involves an $80 application fee (because it's a "class" that I would receive class credit for, as opposed to "internship credit" which isn't actually real), and I want to save myself the $80, if possible.

I'm debating meeting with my major advisor, to discuss an idea for grad school research. This would mean that I would probably get a PhD in anthropology. Of course, I have lots of ideas like this, so who knows what will happen. However, I've discussed my research ideas (to be announced at a later date) to a few people, and they think it is an interesting project. I still need to talk to both my major advisor and my rabbi (yes, it is related to Judaism, surprise surprise), but for now I will say that my project would theoretically involve several years of anthropological fieldwork in other countries.

In other news, I have a Bible take-home midterm due Wednesday and two Talmud papers (one for my Columbia class and one for my JTS class) due Thursday. On Friday I'm going home to celebrate Pesach (Passover) with my family! It is very important for me to be home for Pesach because this time of year, things have a way of going south. So being together with my family basically says that sure, we're a screwed up bunch of people, but we're a family and we love each other and dammit, we're going to get through every single obstacle in our path. It's not so much a sentimentality about the religion as it is about my family.

This all makes sense because studies/surveys have shown that Pesach is the most family-oriented holiday in the Jewish religion. Case in point: bringing a Significant Other to the seder (service/meal) typically means that things are "serious". My parents announced their engagement to my Dad's family at their seder when my dad started in on the Four Questions, saying "Why is this night different from all other nights? We're engaged!" (I think this is the most adorable thing, ever, though nowhere near as hilarious as the way my dad proposed to my mom...) I will avoid this sort of thing by never getting married and instead living in a house with many adorable pugs. (This is code for "Sarah does not see the point in contemplating bringing a boyfriend to a seder because this requires having a boyfriend", though it should be noted that more stress is currently being devoted to the papers I have due this week than to my single status. This is because the papers are due this week and I have the rest of my life to bemoan being single. I like to prioritize.)

In conclusion: procrastinating is superduperfun!

phew!

Life is much better than it was for the past week or so. Yay! Naturally, I credit this to my glorious return to running. It really does make me feel better about life in general! Seriously, those endorphins are legit, and I've definitely had a "runner's high" several times. Now, my goal is to just keep at it for the rest of the school year (2 months!)...that would be ideal.

I still haven't heard back about the China internship (http://www.careereducation.columbia.edu/findajob/cce-internship/ceo). When I had my Skype interview with the woman from the Shanghai marketing research firm on Sunday evening (Monday morning in Shanghai), she told me that they would get back to me "sometime this week". My theory is that the Columbia people are putting off sending out the email until the last possible second today so that when I find out, the office will be closed for the weekend and I will not be able to bombard them with phone calls/emails. Very sneaky! In all seriousness though, I hope to hear back soon so I know whether or not I can spend the next 2-3 months getting psyched for living in CHINA or ISRAEL! I'm afraid to do any additional research right now because then I'll get seriously bummed out if things don't work out.

Obviously, both options are insanely awesome...but I need to know which insanely awesome option to be excited for!

annoyances

I would like to take this opportunity to discuss things that piss me off. Because I feel like it.

One thing that pisses me off is when people make excuses to avoid awkward situations. Sure, certain things are awkward and everybody hates being in awkward situations. At least, I know I do. But I also think that being honest and to-the-point ends the situation as quickly as possible. And just as painlessly...except that I'm not giving platitudes to make myself feel better. Sure, I'll feel like a bitch, but I'm honest. I prefer that. Apologizing for things that I'm not sorry for is a social nicety that I definitely appreciate, but when it draws out a situation and makes both parties feel awkward, then it's not fulfilling its purpose and is therefore a waste of time.

Another thing I dislike is when people patronize me. When I was 14, I was talking about something and my mom gave me this look and said, "Lovey (whenever she calls me that, I feel all warm and gooey inside, because my mommy loves me!), you need to understand that you say interesting things, but nobody is going to take you seriously until you're a lot older." This has somewhat lessened as I am slowly approaching the domain of being a Real Person. Which is why it's even more annoying when people assume shit about me because I am 20. This annoys me even more than when people assume shit about me because I affiliate myself with a religious institution. It's even funnier because at the moment, I'm not even that religiously involved! I actually do regret this, but I just have zero interest in getting involved with Hillel. It just does not appeal to me.

In conclusion, if you have something unpleasant to tell me, say it to my face and then leave so that I can process it and not die of embarrassment while doing so in front of you. I'm not going to tell you to not make assumptions about me, since that's completely unreasonable. You just need to understand that I'm an abrasive person and can be harsh and judgmental for the sake of being intimidating because...at least then I'm being taken seriously, even if it's not for a good reason.

So yeah.

One thing that doesn't piss me off: Anthony Bourdain. He is the most badass dude, ever. He is on the TV right now, which is what prompted this comment.

random mumblings!

I have a confession. One of my hobbies is reading strangers' travel blogs. They could be people I'm friends with on Facebook, their friends, people I don't even know tangentially...

Reading about strangers is different from reading my friends' blogs because with my friends, I imagine them speaking in their own voice, and I project their personality/what I know about them into their stories. With strangers, I have no choice but to take their words at face value. It's an interesting contrast. I also enjoy reading what other people have to say about the places I've visited. I like getting a second opinion/perspective.

I guess the point of that is that I'm just a creeper in general.

Despite the many amazing travel opportunities that I've had, I still feel like I haven't done enough/seen enough for a person my age, which is absolutely ridiculous. I guess this is why people take gap years before/after college to do random things. Of course.

As much as part of me just wants to stay in NYC for the indeterminate future, I'm not so sure that's the best idea. That is to say, it would be pretty hypocritical of me to want to get more varied life experiences and then just stay in the city, even though college life is admittedly very different from the real world. I've been looking at Teach for America and the Peace Corps, as well as researching different grad school options. The grad school options involve staying in NYC, going back to Chicago, or doing to DC. I admittedly have somewhat mixed feelings about DC, but that's entirely due to politics and my general desire to avoid discussing them, even though I know that's a battle I'll never win. Sometimes I think about going to California just to shake things up a little. It's funny...going to CA seems scarier than going to DC, even though I'd need to build a new foundation in both places...it's really just because CA is so much farther away. (Though I do have family near CA, which would be a HUGE improvement over my relatively isolated status here on the east coast...Amital's family notwithstanding, of course!)

Of course, I've also been thinking about doing grad school in Israel. Of course. I mean, are you really surprised? (You shouldn't be. I might be a JTS kid, but I'd place my Zionism before my religious tendencies almost any day of the week.)

Of course, if I want to do grad school in Israel, I could just make aliyah and get a master's degree for free...

Before, the idea of waiting a few years, getting a job, and paying off my student loans/building a nest egg before making aliyah scared me. It scared me a lot. Because I didn't want to take a break before going to grad school. Now that I've somewhat embraced the idea of going straight into the workforce, the idea of waiting 2ish years (random number) doesn't bother me at all.

Ultimately, what I've learned this year is that the choices that I make are not concrete, and that I have a lot of options...there is no set path. This is extremely liberating. I feel so much less stressed, knowing that I am not going to take the LSAT and go to law school. My dad still wants me to keep this as an option, but I doubt it's going to happen.

Internship update!

I'm still looking around. I had my second-round interview with a staff member of the marketing firm in Shanghai. I didn't think it went that well, but I got an email on Thursday, saying that they were interested in interviewing me again! This bodes well! I've done some more research and am totally prepared to rock the interview.

I'm also looking at opportunities in Israel. The Hebrew University in Jerusalem offers an internship program that gives college credit. I am going to see if the credit will apply towards my elective requirements at JTS...if so, then I definitely want to give this a shot!

And that's all for now.

classics of modern hebrew lit and other gems

Right now I'm writing a paper on a poem by Bialik. I need to write a 4 page paper based on 5 stanzas. Joy. I hated the poetry units in high school because I always felt like I was trying to extract meaning that wasn't there. Of course, this is the basis of a college liberal arts degree, so I've since lost any qualms about doing this. Also, I do some of my best paper writing at/around/after 2am, so this should be a breeze.

I'm listening to Galgalatz (http://radio.coolsite.co.il/radio.php?radio=8), aka one of the most well-known Israeli radio stations outside of ha'aretz. I've always found Hebrew really soothing (unless someone is yelling, of course), so it's nice music to listen to. Sometimes they play American songs, and it's an interesting juxtaposition. They also just played the "Jai Ho" song. Right now, they're running a news story about a Hamas member who was assassinated in Dubai. Israel is apparently under suspicion. Whatever. I checked out my beloved Jerusalem Post (www.jpost.com), which offered and interesting perspective.

I've been reading a lot of travel blogs lately. I'd love to do something ridiculous the summer after I graduate. Living on a kibbutz in Israel and doing a legit ulpan program sounds like fun. Of course, I should probably come up with a game plan for after graduating. So far, all I have is that I'm not going to law school. I'm considering taking the GRE and applying to different international affairs programs. At this point, I don't think I feel like going to journalism school. Whee! However, learning Hebrew could actually be helpful...several things I am looking at hint that being bilingual would be helpful...though it would be even more helpful if I also learned Arabic, which would be a HUGE undertaking...

I got a second round interview with a company in Shanghai that does marketing for foreign products, branding them for the Chinese market. This interview is with a representative of the company, as opposed to a Columbia Center for Career Education person. So exciting! Even better, I won't have to buy a new suit because the interview will be over the phone. I'm waiting to hear back from the company as to when my phone interview will take place. I also still need to hear back from the other two positions I interviewed for...

Back to the paper...

I'm not watching the superbowl

I've had an interesting few weeks, where I have made marvelous life choices, begun the Peace Corps application (though it's really too early to do most of it, and my parents would probably flip a shit). Oh yeah! I've also been somewhat productive too!

I have some pretty sweet interviews lined up. Not gonna lie, I am very excited about this! I've been sitting on this for awhile, but I applied to several (5) internships through Columbia Experience Overseas (CEO). Basically, they set Columbia students up with kickass internships in China and England. All of the internships in my area of expertise (journalism) are in China. Do I speak Chinese? No. And the only way I could is if I was a native Chinese speaker or learned Chinese at a very young age. (Obviously if I land one of these internships, I'll buy a phrasebook or something...and learn how to properly pronounce pinyin.)

I applied for internships in:

Beijing

Central China TV (CCTV)--This is the only place where I was outright denied an interview based on my resume. The fact that I don't speak Chinese (the post said that knowledge of Chinese was helpful but not required) might have something to do with it.

Hong Kong

Time Out Hong Kong--I had an interview. I was extremely nervous. That's basically all I can say.

CNN.com--I took a writing exam (which was more of a "do I know people in current events" and a spelling/grammar/punctuation exam) which I was extremely nervous about. I think it went fine. I should hear back re: an interview sometime this week.

Shanghai

International Channel Shanghai (ICS)--An English-language news channel, with Chinese and Japanese subtitles. This could be exciting because the 2010 World Expo will be in Shanghai this summer, and I'm sure ICS will be covering this to some degree.

LABBRAND--A marketing firm that deals with branding. This is the only CEO internship I applied for that isn't directly related to journalism. However, I think that marketing is interesting. My dad owns a small pharmaceutical marketing firm, and while I don't always understand the nitty gritty aspects of his work, I do think it's interesting. Also, anthropology and marketing are connected. In short, this could be very interesting.

I have first-round interviews for the Shanghai internships on Wednesday. I have a fancy new suit. Life is good.

I'm lucky in that I have a pretty decent resume. I work during the year (and anybody who just shrugs off working with special needs children is pretty cold-hearted), and I've been lucky to land interesting summer internships. Of course, I was adamant about the fact that I didn't want to go into journalism. And yet...Oh well. Never say never, right?

life

I've scored an interview for that internship I applied for. It's a group interview. It involves going to NYU on Friday. This might involve seeing men in tight pants. I dislike this, mainly because I like my men nice and manly, and not metro. (Yes, I'm aware that this rules out many of the guys at Columbia. And it's instances like this when I long for Illinois. There might be an overabundance of prepiness where I'm from, but at least you can tell from the back if a dude is a dude.)

There's also the issue that I might possibly be hungover on Friday morning. And by that, I mean that I kind of hope I will be. I know that sounds weird.

So yeah, I'll need to do battle with other Jewish college students, to land the internship. But my parents tell me that I'll be Queen of the Interns (a reference to my sister, who was Queen of Rehab...I can't make that kind of shit up), and their confidence in me is nice.

I still have to apply for more internships. Meh.

The whole LSAT thing is so frustrating and overwhelming that I've stopped working on it. Which isn't making the problem any easier, obviously. I've also been rethinking the whole journalism thing, which is surprising.

I'm glad I came back to NYC a week early, but I still feel overwhelmed. I don't think this is going to change anytime soon. But I also don't think that my overwhelmedness is any greater than most people's...

This past week, I did a lot of work study hours in the JTS library. Granted, I wish I didn't need to to the hours, but I kind of enjoy it. Shelving books is very zen-like and therapeutic. I'm alone with my thoughts...shelving books. Also, I really like organizing things when there is a set system that I need to follow. (AKA, shelving books and organizing my agenda is fine, but cleaning my room isn't...though my room is actually relatively decent at the moment.) I was talking with the librarian about my other job, at the Hebrew school. She was amazed that I had time for that, school, and work study. I told her that my Hebrew school gig is how I make my spending money. "Your parents don't give you money?" she asked. "It's not that they don't, it's that I don't want to ask for it. Money is tight and they're already helping me pay my tuition." I said. I think I earned mensch (Yiddish for "a good person") points with her for that (and it's not even a lie). But her pleasant surprise at the amount of things that I do/my consideration for my parents was very much appreciated. Every now and then, it's nice to know that even though I'm kind of a headcase, people think I'm a good person/on top of my shit.

I had a talk with my parents about how I am afraid that I won't get into a good law school, that maybe I should go for journalism school instead. They told me to keep all of my options open. I told them that I was afraid of letting them down, after all the support they're giving me, giving me an Ivy League education and all. My mom said that hearing me say these things, she knew that there was no way I could let her down. I needed to hear that.

In conclusion, I'm a headcase, this semester is going to be interesting, and I have more internships to apply for.

Basically, things are as they usually are.

internships!

I'm officially submitted an application for a summer internship! What is the internship? It's based at NYU and places Jewish college students either living in/near NYC or attending college there in internships in different nonprofit/Jewish internships. There are also seminars. The information provided on the website was actually pretty vague, so I hope that I get an interview so that I can ask some questions.

I also hope I get the internship, because it pays! (And I think they provide housing? That would be pretty awesome.)

I had initially thought that it would be nice to spend the summer at home, but I'm now afraid that I would be antisocial. Not that I am super social when I'm at school, but at least I would have options...and I would probably be living in a different neighborhood, which would be great. And I would be in an environment where I'd be interacting with other college students. Yay, new friends!

I have another internship to apply to, but it involves printing out an application, so I'm going to wait to do it until I get back to school.

P.S. I know this sounds totally lame, but some of the LSAT problems I've been working on are semi-interesting/engaging...yeah, I know.

coming up with titles is hard

Today I went to see Sherlock Holmes with Lia, because I hadn't seen Lia since the summer and because Robert Downey Jr. is fantastic. (My brother even admits to having a man crush on him. At least he has good taste.) There was also a brief stop in Forever 21, but since I had to pick my brother up from school, I didn't get a chance to do any real browsing. This is sad because Forever 21 is one of the few stores I can afford to shop in. Sure, the clothes are poorly made, but they're damn cheap. And some of them are skanky to the point of ridiculousness. I approve.

Later, I watched Anthony Bourdain's show on the travel channel, because Anthony Bourdain is fantastic. He was in Thailand, and he saw monkeys "with nipples that look like butt plugs". I can't even make that up. The show has a parental advisory warning for a reason: it is too awesome for small children or the faint of heart. Naturally, I approve.

The show made me wish, as I occasionally do, that I could pick up and travel to a place where the cost of living for a backpacker is super cheap. (My secret dream job is to be a travel writer/work for a travel show and get to travel with as part of the crew--I could manage logistics!) Then I remember that I am super white and will get harassed (case in point: Egypt...and that was actually pretty tame--I wasn't molested or anything). Curse you, Russian-Polish/German/British-French ancestors! (Though, not gonna lie, I AM a fan of the freckles...just not the uber pastiness of my skin.) I also remember that aside from a basic level of conversational Hebrew and a quickly deteriorating grasp of Spanish, I'm monolingual. Le sigh.

Still, it would be nice. (You know what would also be nice? Getting my Brit Lit grade!) Perhaps I can do this for a little bit the summer after I graduate?

awesome night

Tonight was fantastic. My parents and I went into Chicago to meet my Aunt Beckie (my dad's best friend's wife) for dinner. The waiter was my Aunt Beckie's friend, and he was absolutely hysterical. It was really nice catching up with her. My Uncle Earl died this summer while I was in Israel, so I wasn't able to attend his funeral. We got to tell stories about him/his family, which was very nice.

I was going to put a story here, but decided that it was overshare about my life. Which is ironic, since this is a blog about my life (theoretically). Except when I think it was overshare, it probably was. See? I'm learning self-restraint!

The point of this post is to tell you about the TV show Conveyor Belt of Love (http://www.hulu.com/watch/118548/conveyor-belt-of-love). Basically, 5 girls judge guys as they pass by...on a giant conveyor belt. Now, some of the girls seem normal (except for the fact that they are on this show). There is a blonde with a really low-cut dress who is totally desperate, and there is a short Asian girl who is really dumb and...has an unattractive personality. That's the best way I can put it. You need to watch the show yourself. My words will not do it justice.

On the LSAT front: I think I'm going to fork over the cash and take an LSAT class. But in the meantime, I am still studying (a little) from the book I got. Some of the tips are really helpful, so I'm hoping that my score will improve a bit just from reading the book. We shall see.

Now my lovelies, go watch Conveyor Belt of Love!

Happy New Year!

I'm taking a break from taking a timed LSAT exam (I know that defeats the purpose of taking the exam, but I'm also drinking classy champagne while taking the exam, so, you know, whatevs) because, despite the cloud of moping that I've been in since the end of Thanksgiving, good things HAVE been happening. As far as years go, 2009 was adequately interesting. Did I get amazing grades and get happily boyfriended? Nope. But I have fantastic friends and family, a new-found respect for my physical health/wellbeing, vague athletic ability, goals for my future, and a clear sense of self. I also spent the summer abroad, which was pretty freaking awesome. And I sure as hell have a lot of interesting stories to tell (about life in general).

In short, I am proud of myself.

In addition to the goals I made in a previous post, a goal I am going to set for myself is to be more outgoing. Like my sister. She is always meeting lots of really interesting people. Granted, some of them sound like they are nutjobs, or people I wouldn't necessarily want to hang out with. But that's more of an issue of her preference in people than anything else. And yes, she might be taller/thinner/have a better rack than I do, but if she didn't go out and do stuff, none of that would matter.

So yes. I lift my glass to you and hope that 2009 wasn't as painful as you thought and that 2010 will fulfill your wildest dreams!