It's Pesach!

Yay, Pesach! I am home in lovely Highland Park, IL for the seders. Being home is so relaxing. I am temporarily ignoring the fact that I will soon return to school...and have 6 more weeks of stress. But then the school year will be over and I will be off to...

JERUSALEM!

I honestly did not anticipate returning to Jerusalem. Of course, I am thrilled to be doing so. I am applying to take an ulpan (intensive Hebrew language class) at the Hebrew University in Jerusalem. I'm still working on the details (like the Hebrew placement exam), but things will fall into place.

Today I was informed by my dad that "If you can't get your graduate degree for free, that says something about the field you're working in." I'm pretty sure he meant fellowships/stipends, etc.

Of course, professional schools like law school do not apply to this rule.

To be honest, I really do not want to take out more student loans than I already have at this point in time. I am also not entirely sure what I would want to study.

Gah.

It's official!

I didn't get the China internship. I'm actually very okay with this because it means that I will be in Israel this summer!

no news is no news

The state of my internship status is still unknown. Therefore, I'm going through with the Hebrew U application. I don't appreciate the way the Center for Career Education has been treating me, but there's really nothing I can do about it.

This semester has been a sea of papers. And it will continue to be so. Allow me to show you...

Classics of Modern Hebrew Lit: 3 4pg papers, 1 15pg paper (which can be an elaboration on one of the shorter papers

(JTS) Talmud: 5 2pg papers, outlines of the readings

Bible: take-home midterm (mine was almost 11pgs long), 6-8 pg paper

Ethnographic China: 15pg paper

(CU) Talmud: 3 2pg papers There will likely be more.

MusicHum: 2 3-5pg concert reports

In total, this is 17+ papers (not including the anticipated CU Talmud papers) and 77+ pages of (unique) writing. To be fair, this is relatively decently-spaced. Though I know that I'll be writing the two 15 pg papers (and probably the 6pg one) at the same time. Ugh. This is definitely the most I have ever had to write in a given semester. Granted. I'm only going to have to take 4 actual finals...(and one won't even be in class...)

I guess this is what I get for taking 7 classes. (Another reason why I should do the Hebrew U internship...it would make my schedule so much lighter!)

Speaking of schedules...I have a tentative one set up for next semester. Again it's 7 classes, but 6 of them will only be held once a week! So we shall see what happens...

sneak peak

I sent an email to the marketing firm, asking if I am still under consideration for the internship. We shall see if I hear back. I have yet to submit my application for a Hebrew University (in Jerusalem) internship program because this involves an $80 application fee (because it's a "class" that I would receive class credit for, as opposed to "internship credit" which isn't actually real), and I want to save myself the $80, if possible.

I'm debating meeting with my major advisor, to discuss an idea for grad school research. This would mean that I would probably get a PhD in anthropology. Of course, I have lots of ideas like this, so who knows what will happen. However, I've discussed my research ideas (to be announced at a later date) to a few people, and they think it is an interesting project. I still need to talk to both my major advisor and my rabbi (yes, it is related to Judaism, surprise surprise), but for now I will say that my project would theoretically involve several years of anthropological fieldwork in other countries.

In other news, I have a Bible take-home midterm due Wednesday and two Talmud papers (one for my Columbia class and one for my JTS class) due Thursday. On Friday I'm going home to celebrate Pesach (Passover) with my family! It is very important for me to be home for Pesach because this time of year, things have a way of going south. So being together with my family basically says that sure, we're a screwed up bunch of people, but we're a family and we love each other and dammit, we're going to get through every single obstacle in our path. It's not so much a sentimentality about the religion as it is about my family.

This all makes sense because studies/surveys have shown that Pesach is the most family-oriented holiday in the Jewish religion. Case in point: bringing a Significant Other to the seder (service/meal) typically means that things are "serious". My parents announced their engagement to my Dad's family at their seder when my dad started in on the Four Questions, saying "Why is this night different from all other nights? We're engaged!" (I think this is the most adorable thing, ever, though nowhere near as hilarious as the way my dad proposed to my mom...) I will avoid this sort of thing by never getting married and instead living in a house with many adorable pugs. (This is code for "Sarah does not see the point in contemplating bringing a boyfriend to a seder because this requires having a boyfriend", though it should be noted that more stress is currently being devoted to the papers I have due this week than to my single status. This is because the papers are due this week and I have the rest of my life to bemoan being single. I like to prioritize.)

In conclusion: procrastinating is superduperfun!

phew!

Life is much better than it was for the past week or so. Yay! Naturally, I credit this to my glorious return to running. It really does make me feel better about life in general! Seriously, those endorphins are legit, and I've definitely had a "runner's high" several times. Now, my goal is to just keep at it for the rest of the school year (2 months!)...that would be ideal.

I still haven't heard back about the China internship (http://www.careereducation.columbia.edu/findajob/cce-internship/ceo). When I had my Skype interview with the woman from the Shanghai marketing research firm on Sunday evening (Monday morning in Shanghai), she told me that they would get back to me "sometime this week". My theory is that the Columbia people are putting off sending out the email until the last possible second today so that when I find out, the office will be closed for the weekend and I will not be able to bombard them with phone calls/emails. Very sneaky! In all seriousness though, I hope to hear back soon so I know whether or not I can spend the next 2-3 months getting psyched for living in CHINA or ISRAEL! I'm afraid to do any additional research right now because then I'll get seriously bummed out if things don't work out.

Obviously, both options are insanely awesome...but I need to know which insanely awesome option to be excited for!

annoyances

I would like to take this opportunity to discuss things that piss me off. Because I feel like it.

One thing that pisses me off is when people make excuses to avoid awkward situations. Sure, certain things are awkward and everybody hates being in awkward situations. At least, I know I do. But I also think that being honest and to-the-point ends the situation as quickly as possible. And just as painlessly...except that I'm not giving platitudes to make myself feel better. Sure, I'll feel like a bitch, but I'm honest. I prefer that. Apologizing for things that I'm not sorry for is a social nicety that I definitely appreciate, but when it draws out a situation and makes both parties feel awkward, then it's not fulfilling its purpose and is therefore a waste of time.

Another thing I dislike is when people patronize me. When I was 14, I was talking about something and my mom gave me this look and said, "Lovey (whenever she calls me that, I feel all warm and gooey inside, because my mommy loves me!), you need to understand that you say interesting things, but nobody is going to take you seriously until you're a lot older." This has somewhat lessened as I am slowly approaching the domain of being a Real Person. Which is why it's even more annoying when people assume shit about me because I am 20. This annoys me even more than when people assume shit about me because I affiliate myself with a religious institution. It's even funnier because at the moment, I'm not even that religiously involved! I actually do regret this, but I just have zero interest in getting involved with Hillel. It just does not appeal to me.

In conclusion, if you have something unpleasant to tell me, say it to my face and then leave so that I can process it and not die of embarrassment while doing so in front of you. I'm not going to tell you to not make assumptions about me, since that's completely unreasonable. You just need to understand that I'm an abrasive person and can be harsh and judgmental for the sake of being intimidating because...at least then I'm being taken seriously, even if it's not for a good reason.

So yeah.

One thing that doesn't piss me off: Anthony Bourdain. He is the most badass dude, ever. He is on the TV right now, which is what prompted this comment.

random mumblings!

I have a confession. One of my hobbies is reading strangers' travel blogs. They could be people I'm friends with on Facebook, their friends, people I don't even know tangentially...

Reading about strangers is different from reading my friends' blogs because with my friends, I imagine them speaking in their own voice, and I project their personality/what I know about them into their stories. With strangers, I have no choice but to take their words at face value. It's an interesting contrast. I also enjoy reading what other people have to say about the places I've visited. I like getting a second opinion/perspective.

I guess the point of that is that I'm just a creeper in general.

Despite the many amazing travel opportunities that I've had, I still feel like I haven't done enough/seen enough for a person my age, which is absolutely ridiculous. I guess this is why people take gap years before/after college to do random things. Of course.

As much as part of me just wants to stay in NYC for the indeterminate future, I'm not so sure that's the best idea. That is to say, it would be pretty hypocritical of me to want to get more varied life experiences and then just stay in the city, even though college life is admittedly very different from the real world. I've been looking at Teach for America and the Peace Corps, as well as researching different grad school options. The grad school options involve staying in NYC, going back to Chicago, or doing to DC. I admittedly have somewhat mixed feelings about DC, but that's entirely due to politics and my general desire to avoid discussing them, even though I know that's a battle I'll never win. Sometimes I think about going to California just to shake things up a little. It's funny...going to CA seems scarier than going to DC, even though I'd need to build a new foundation in both places...it's really just because CA is so much farther away. (Though I do have family near CA, which would be a HUGE improvement over my relatively isolated status here on the east coast...Amital's family notwithstanding, of course!)

Of course, I've also been thinking about doing grad school in Israel. Of course. I mean, are you really surprised? (You shouldn't be. I might be a JTS kid, but I'd place my Zionism before my religious tendencies almost any day of the week.)

Of course, if I want to do grad school in Israel, I could just make aliyah and get a master's degree for free...

Before, the idea of waiting a few years, getting a job, and paying off my student loans/building a nest egg before making aliyah scared me. It scared me a lot. Because I didn't want to take a break before going to grad school. Now that I've somewhat embraced the idea of going straight into the workforce, the idea of waiting 2ish years (random number) doesn't bother me at all.

Ultimately, what I've learned this year is that the choices that I make are not concrete, and that I have a lot of options...there is no set path. This is extremely liberating. I feel so much less stressed, knowing that I am not going to take the LSAT and go to law school. My dad still wants me to keep this as an option, but I doubt it's going to happen.

Internship update!

I'm still looking around. I had my second-round interview with a staff member of the marketing firm in Shanghai. I didn't think it went that well, but I got an email on Thursday, saying that they were interested in interviewing me again! This bodes well! I've done some more research and am totally prepared to rock the interview.

I'm also looking at opportunities in Israel. The Hebrew University in Jerusalem offers an internship program that gives college credit. I am going to see if the credit will apply towards my elective requirements at JTS...if so, then I definitely want to give this a shot!

And that's all for now.